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[01 May 2005|05:48pm] [ mood | happy. ] [ music | the race. ] so when jason [the guy i met at bowties two weeks ago] didnt talk to me for over a week, i figured he just lost interest. turns out, hes been sick. he stayed with me last night, and probably will be again next weekend. hes freakin' awesome. ♥ i really dont have much to say, for once. +

[26 Apr 2005|02:37pm] [ mood | ecstatic. ] [ music | silence. ] i dragged myself down the stairs awhile ago to lock the door behind rick [my roommates boyfriend] and to eat some cereal. im just about to take a bite, when i hear someone outside of the door. imagine my surprise when i realized it was charles..just stopping by because he was thinking about me. how fucking awesome is that? with anyone else, i would have ignored it. id just woken up. messy hair, messy clothes, no brushed teeth lol. but i feel so comfortable with him. we sat and talked for a few, and i really think theres something there. hes supposed to come over after work tonight and spend the night. i cant fucking wait. swoon. +

[26 Apr 2005|12:32am] [ mood | melancholy. ] [ music | walk away by christina aguilera. ] i dont know whats wrong with me tonight. i have so many great friends and even a few great guys in my life [no, people, im not playing them, just nobody has hit "serious" status so far], but i feel so lost and alone tonight. i seriously just need held. not fucked, not talked to, not anything but held. it wont happen though. the only one that i know would do it doesnt drive and neither of us can get a ride tonight. im officially incredibly pissed about my id and ss card. its going to cost money to get the birth certificate. and then i wait. and then i gotta wait for the ss card. and then i get my id. i cant afford this kind of bullshit. i hope whoever took it is fucking happy. vicki still thinks i lost it by hiding it somewhere in her house while i was drunk, but damn it, if i did, dont think think id find it by now, four days later? i went to scallawags tonight and couldnt drink because of not having my id. the bartender knew me from another bar, but couldnt serve me because of lack of id. im not mad at him, i realize thats his job, but argh. im changing again. majorly. i can feel it welling up inside of me and i just dont know how to handle it. sigh. +

[24 Apr 2005|03:19pm] [ mood | annoyed. ] [ music | silence. ] list form. because i feel like it. im all moved. i moved in with vicki on friday. shes going to drive me nuts, i know it, but at least i finally have some personal space. shes very meticulous though, a neat freak. anyone that knows me knows that im not a slob, but im not a neat freak either. shes driving me nuts. my purse got stolen thursday. goodbye all my perdy makeups. goodbye id. goodbye ss card. i thought i lost it at first, but ive searched high and low, and ive given up on finding it. charles and i finally really got together last night. after two months of emailing, one meeting at my job, and a couple of dances last weekend, we finally hooked up last night. not only is he a god in the bedroom, but hes a charmer outside of it too. well see what happens with that. for anyone from bowties that reads this, i am not marlborolindsey. alison is, plain and simple. that woman has more personalities than i have hairs on my fucking head. she constantly leaves the group and then comes back with a new screenname. we were "morally beneath her", yet she is coming crawling back everytime because nobody else wants her around. hell, we dont want her around either, but unfortunately, its a public bar. i do not have the patience or the time to come up with fake screennames and tell lies about people i care about. grow the fuck up, youre almost forty fucking years old, bitch. i was in the er the other day. i scratched my eye. had to have numbing drops and shit. adam was going to take me. we had civil conversation. it was great. +

[20 Apr 2005|04:35pm] ( surveys ) +

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